Things I want my kids to know

Recently we took our kids to a very exciting swimming centre.

We went because this place has everything. It has three big flumes: one which is pitch black and very fast, a slower one with rainbow lights in it, and one where you sit in a double rubber ring and get flung up and down what can only be described as a half-pipe. It also has an inflatable obstacle course.

We did go on some of the exciting things (one of them went down the rainbow light slide and they all had a go on the obstacle course) but really, all they wanted to do was to play in the pool itself.

Now the last time we went, I will be honest, I was pretty disappointed that they just wanted to play in the pool. We travelled for nearly an hour to this place because it had all this cool stuff and really, we may as well have popped to the pool down the road.

This time, however, I was prepared.

Actually, it is rather lovely that they wanted to spend time in the pool. It was me who had the mental image of them squealing with joy and adrenaline on the big slides and the obstacles. It was me who had imagined this big dose of fun and laughter being brought about by the fancy activities. They had no such expectation.

My kids were having fun sploshing about, chasing each other around and looking at one another under the water. They didn’t need the fancy bits.

Now, don’t get me wrong, the lesson I am taking from this is not “let’s just never bother with fancy stuff again” because I am sure there will be a time in the future where they really will want to go on the flumes again and again and that they will get loads from it. However, what I did take from this is something slightly different.

As adults, when it comes to our own approach to moments of joy, relaxation or fun, we can often fall into the trap of feeling like it needs to be a big deal. A whole day at a spa. A week’s holiday. Going and doing an activity with a friend. Doing a full hour of exercise.

These bigger, landmark activities can be fantastic. However, sometimes when we focus solely upon the big things, we can miss the fact that smaller, simpler moments can make a huge difference too.

You might not have time in your day to go for a big old walk. You might not have the energy for a big night out with friends. You might not be able to get out into the countryside right now. That doesn’t mean you can’t get a little dose of something.

This can be something that comes up in burnout. If you have a lot on your plate or you are not in your best place physically or mentally, then the landmark activities are hard to get around to. Sometimes that means that you can end up using up all your time or energy doing the “essential” things like work or taking care of others, not having enough left to go do something big that usually helps. So, instead, we end up not doing anything that gives us energy back. That can then lead to a spiral of having less and less to give.

Sometimes where we will start with something like this is to practice doing smaller things. Can’t face a big night out right now? What about a small chat? Haven’t got time for the big walk today? What about standing outside for a moment?

Moments of joy, fun or peace don’t always have to come from the big stuff. In fact, often the most impactful moments are simple and small. A really good sandwich. A moment watching a bee do it’s thing. A little conversation with a friend. A good stretch.

We don’t always need an hour on a big stonking water slide. Sometimes all we need is a bit of time in the shallows.

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Thanks for reading. Until next week,

Ted

P.S. Yes, a really good sandwich would be up there on the small things that make a big difference to me.