top of page

Things I want my kids to know

Writer's picture: Ted BradshawTed Bradshaw

It probably won’t surprise you to know that I think about my kids a lot. What might not be quite so obvious is that sometimes what I think about when I am writing something or doing my videos is:

 

“If I were to die tomorrow, what would I want my kids to know?”

 

A bit morbid I know, but there you have it.

 

When it comes to mental health, there are so many things that I would want to say, but here, at the start of children’s mental health week, I had to boil it down to three things to start with, I would choose these:

 

Your emotions are normal

 

When your emotions seem completely unrelated to what is going on around you, when they seem disproportionate or when nobody else seems to be feeling the same way, it can make you feel like there is something wrong with you, that you are being weak or ridiculous.

 

Firstly, that tends not to make you feel much better. Secondly, it just isn’t fair. When you understand the full context of why you react the particular way you do, with your history, experiences and tendencies, actually your reactions make much more sense.

 

And that helps.

 

You are worth something

 

From the moment you were born, you were worth something, and that will never change.

 

Sometimes we can get the impression that our worth is dependent upon our achievements, how other people treat us or maybe even how we look or how round our bum cheeks are.

 

It makes sense, given how the world operates, but it isn’t fair or useful to get sucked into it. Whether you succeed at something or fail, you are still worth the same. It’s OK to be upset and want to do something better, but don’t let it make you question whether you are worth something.

 

You are, and you always will be.

 

Flexibility for the win

 

Having expectations of ourselves can be useful. Whether that is reaching for certain standards in your work or in how you treat people, if we had no standards at all we might find ourselves struggling a bit. However, expectations can cause us problems when they are too rigid or extreme:

 

“I must always work as hard as I can at everything I do” “I must never let anybody down regardless of what is going on” or “I must do absolutely everything perfectly” are all pretty extreme and pretty limiting.

 

“It is useful to put effort into important things, but taking care of myself is important too” “It is nice to want to help other people, but it’s OK to put yourself first too you know” or “Doing things to the best of my ability is my aim, but mistakes are part of that” are all much more flexible. You get to keep the positive parts, without hemming yourself in too much.

 

Those are the top three things I would want my kids to know about mental health. What do you reckon?

 

Thanks for reading! Until next week,

 

Ted

 

P.S. I am taking this opportunity to shift the focus of this newsletter from "something to think about, something to do" to "things I want my kids to know" as a therapist, as a father, and as a human being. I hope you get something from it.

Comments


Fancy getting each post straight to your inbox every Monday? Sign up here!

Success! Thank you for signing up

bottom of page