It’s Thursday afternoon and I have honestly been sat here for 45 minutes trying to think of something to write about.
It’s been so frustrating. I have got plenty of ideas, but for all that time, I could not for the life of me get them out of my head. I have about five drafts on the go, in each of which I had squeezed out a couple of sentences before grinding to a halt.
And now, I have put my finger on what was going on.
I had put a bit of time pressure on myself today. I really wanted to get this written, to make some space for tomorrow morning because I am working writing some more resources. I had left myself over an hour, so I thought that was plenty of time. I was even hoping I might get two done!
My kids were home from school and they were getting at each other (they have been doing that quite a lot lately and my word it is a tough one). So there was quite a bit of popping in and out of my office, trying to deal with it, and then legging it back in to just try to get this writing done.
I would get back in, sit down and try as I might, there was just nothing. I was so frustrated. Come on, Ted. You can write, for Pete’s sake. You need to get this one done today. What’s going on here?
My chest was feeling tight, my stomach was held in a knot, and I was gritting my teeth. Eventually (a bit later than I might have liked in retrospect), I took a few deep breaths. Now, it’s all a little loosey goosey.
And then, slowly, came the ability to think.
When we get stressed, anxious or angry, thinking becomes harder to do. My way of putting this is that if anxiety is your body’s response to danger, when there is a tiger in the room, you don’t need to be able to do philosophy or maths, you just need to be able to see the tiger and the exit. Creativity is going out of the window I am afraid.
Have you ever been really worked up about something, only to say to yourself “Why was I so worked up about that?” once you have calmed down? It’s that. Once your body calms, you can think.
So, when you are feeling stressed or anxious, your thinking is limited anyway, which then contributes to staying stuck in the loop. Yes, we have all our lovely fancy ways of dealing with anxious thoughts (compassion and all that jazz) but they are pretty useless to us when we just can’t think straight.
Something to think about
Sometimes the best place to start is just by slowing things down a bit. Once your body is more relaxed, you might not need to do much with your thinking, as it can loosen up on it’s own.
This principle also applies when you are dealing with a child who is upset. Yes, you might need to talk to them, but if you can help them physically slow down first, you are more likely to be able to get somewhere.
Something to do
When you find yourself getting stuck in a bit of a stress spiral, or you are feeling anxious about something and you just can’t seem to think your way out of it, try slowing your body down instead. A few deep breaths, a slow walk, or taking a few moments to lie down on your back are good options.
Thanks for reading! Until next week,
Ted
P.S. This is a big one I talk about in my workshops for businesses and schools when it comes to managing stress or anxiety. I always like to include it because for me, you can’t do the thinking stuff without doing the physical calming stuff first. You can read more about these workshops on the "Workshops" page of this website.
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