Things I want my kids to know

I am in the fortunate position of having some great people in my life that I can go to for advice.

I know people who are self-employed, who I can go to when I am feeling unsure or a bit lost. If I am uncertain about how to handle something with my kids, then I can speak to my wife and friends. I have people I can talk to about exercise and keeping my back in good shape. Blooming anything.

I would hope my kids will feel the same way, and that I will be a part of that network for them: that they will feel that they can get some views from me if they want some. However, there is one thing I would also really want them to know:

Advice from other people can only take you so far.

What is the best way to get my baby to sleep? Should I take this job opportunity? What exercise regime would help me most?

These questions seem like they might have definite answers, but they don’t. You can find out what works for others, or which option has the biggest evidence base, but ultimately, there is rarely a question with one definitive solution that applies in every single case.

Also, when someone gives you advice, it is generally advice that would work for them, but that doesn’t always mean that it would work for you. If you are looking for one clear-cut answer, you might find yourself searching around for a long time and getting more confused and frustrated.

Gathering views, perspectives and tips from others is useful, but ultimately it is going to come down to you. With most things, you cannot really know what the right decision is without giving it a go yourself. Sometimes, finding a way forward for yourself means that taking on board the perspectives of the people you know and trust, and giving yourself permission to go in completely the opposite direction.

I am hoping that I can remember this when my kids ask me for advice (or when I desperately want to give some even if they haven’t asked). My advice is best framed to them as my thoughts, my experience and my perspective, not cold hard fact (even if I might feel that it is).

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Thanks for reading. Until next week,

Ted

P.S. The same goes for everything I write here, too: these are my thoughts and perspectives, which might be useful, might not be the way for you, or might work with some tweaks.